Should I call the police?

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Ring ring

The call goes to voicemail /answering machine.

My voice comes on.

"I'm sorry I can't talk to you right now. I'm between thighs at the moment."

Writers cock

I've been suffering from that thing that allows me to not make nice stories and good shit.

Speaking of which, dude, do you have any good shit?

Huh? Yeah so anyway. I was with this girl and she was all up enjoying my tongue and I was enjoying hers. I learned that 69 is my new favourite number. Hers too but only with me.

But the thing that makes me uncomfortable about her is that when she asks for a booty call, it's going to be anal. Me, ima get high, get the munchies, eat some pussy kind of guy.

Trust me, get stoned and your lady will love you for it. You'll think you're going all fast but you'll be going just right. Stoned fuckers are the best fuckers. Sometimes, limp fuckers but we can eat that pussy like...like we want to eat it actually.

Just don't leave midway for a snack.

Or if you must, use sausages.