This is your last resort!

At some point, stoners face the problem when it comes to the regular flow of stuff when their 'sources' get busted or they simply just run out of cash. And we all know how important it is for the stoner to have that constant 'highness'. Alien Midget understands that.

Hence, Alien Midget came up with inexpensive yet effective ways of getting high which he would like to share with all of you over time. These techniques may not give you the high that your stuff normally would, but nevertheless, it's much better than nothing.


The spinning demon
To get really high using this technique, all you need is a swivel chair and a helping hand. Adjust your chair well & make sure you're seated comfortably. Don't get too comfortable or else you'll end up snoring away to glory.

Now, ask your friend to begin spinning the chair slowly. This is very important and ideally your friend should spin the chair around 28-30 times a minute. Once your head is accustomed to the spinning, tell your friend to up the ante a bit and spin the chair faster. And faster. And faster. And even more faster, till it touches around 80-90 or maximum 100 rotations a minute. The spinning should last for a minimum 5 minutes for effective results.

Once you feel "Its high time", yell at your friend to stop immediately. Your friend would then have to bring the spinning demon to an instant halt.





Are you high now?
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I bet your high ass you are!


After a while, I'm pretty sure you'd be normal again, so Alien Midget suggests that you repeat this procedure 8 times in 2 hrs to maintain a continuous high.



Alien Midget certified highness: 3/5.



to be continued...

Warning

There's a pizza place called Hell Pizza and I told the guy giving me my pizza that when he wanks, he won't go to hell.

But his sperm will.

The contents of my thrash can

Is a lot of tissue paper.

Wink. Wink.

Good thing you don't need free hands to wink.

The original post has been deleted because the person who this post was addressed to didn't give a fuck. Not a tiny-winy bit of it. So I deleted this post.

Now I'm not gonna complain or crib or even bitch about that person because that person didn't give a fuck. And if that person hasn't given a fuck, I shouldn't complain or crib or bitch about that person. Because if I do, that'll mean I give a fuck. And if I give a fuck, I expect to be given a fuck in return, (which would be great). But sadly, that person hasn't given a fuck.

If you're wondering what this post is all about, well, it's a stoned thought. And stoned thoughts should be put down to paper as soon as you get em' or else you won't remember it when you're un-stoned. Also, stoned thoughts are clear thoughts written in un-clear language and vice-versa. And they're profound. And genius. And everything associated with the word 'awesome'.

If you still can't figure out what I'm talking about all this while, read between the lines.

For now, I've got the munchies. Until next time.

Should I call the police?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Ring ring

The call goes to voicemail /answering machine.

My voice comes on.

"I'm sorry I can't talk to you right now. I'm between thighs at the moment."

Writers cock

I've been suffering from that thing that allows me to not make nice stories and good shit.

Speaking of which, dude, do you have any good shit?

Huh? Yeah so anyway. I was with this girl and she was all up enjoying my tongue and I was enjoying hers. I learned that 69 is my new favourite number. Hers too but only with me.

But the thing that makes me uncomfortable about her is that when she asks for a booty call, it's going to be anal. Me, ima get high, get the munchies, eat some pussy kind of guy.

Trust me, get stoned and your lady will love you for it. You'll think you're going all fast but you'll be going just right. Stoned fuckers are the best fuckers. Sometimes, limp fuckers but we can eat that pussy like...like we want to eat it actually.

Just don't leave midway for a snack.

Or if you must, use sausages.