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Showing posts with label ewww. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ewww. Show all posts

Monday, July 4, 2011

Writers cock




I've been suffering from that thing that allows me to not make nice stories and good shit.

Speaking of which, dude, do you have any good shit?

Huh? Yeah so anyway. I was with this girl and she was all up enjoying my tongue and I was enjoying hers. I learned that 69 is my new favourite number. Hers too but only with me.

But the thing that makes me uncomfortable about her is that when she asks for a booty call, it's going to be anal. Me, ima get high, get the munchies, eat some pussy kind of guy.

Trust me, get stoned and your lady will love you for it. You'll think you're going all fast but you'll be going just right. Stoned fuckers are the best fuckers. Sometimes, limp fuckers but we can eat that pussy like...like we want to eat it actually.

Just don't leave midway for a snack.

Or if you must, use sausages.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My horrible nightmare

The day is the 31st of October. So I was trying a nice cocktail of drugs that included some speed, ecstasy, marijuana and a spot of LSD. It was all great. I saw colours and cool shapes and everybody around me was on the same thing and they kept telling me what an awesome Halloween costume I had on. It was actually a really great costume, I was dressed as a Dracula with electrodes coming out of my neck and a stitched head a la ole Frankie's monster. Plus I had a stake coming out of my heart. Apparently it was a great mix of two classics. The story behind the costume was that after Dracula had the stake put through him, he died and to remove the stake would mean to render me as dust but Frankenstein (the scientist's name was Dr. Frankenstein and everybody confuses the monster with him) figured that out and I had still had a working brain so I could be brought back and do the bidding of the good doctor.

Totally bitchin. That's what everyone was saying about me and my costume and we were all high. Anyway so all was going good and I was really enjoying myself, I even met this nice girl who was studying in a college nearby and had this really awesome dorm room that was like, in a hotel or something. We did it a few times (10 times) in the dark and all was well. I snuck out after I was done (she had passed out from exhaustion at 7 i think). I got home safely and the cops didn't catch me or anything.

I went and crashed straight into bed and I had the worst nightmare ever. I dreamed that I was a human midget girl with a nice rack. I was on this other guys bike and we were just enjoying the ride (but for some reason, I felt like riding him). Then he gets a call and we go to meet a friend of his. Before I know it, I'm transported to this room where I'm bent over and being butt-fucked by this random guy. He is just loving it with all his stupid heavy breathing and his about to come in my ass (serious bad pain). My huge knockers are slapping me in the face with every thrust and I get more and more freaked out every time this guy goes "Aaah". I turn around to get a look at his face, he smiles at me and I wonder how the fuck did I end up being ass-raped by this really creepy fat guy. I only looked once to see his face and then turned away because he was about to cum and I definitely did not want to see his face as he came. I drew a rough picture because i couldn't remember all the details and I'm desperately trying to forget.
This is what I saw when I turned around. It's quite disgusting I know, just imagine if my drawing skills were better. Well I felt the disgusting dripping in my ass and woke up screaming. It was so bad I tell you. I just felt I had to blog about this. As I write this, I relive it all again slowly, my thoughts move frame-by-frame, in slow motion making me remember every moment of agony.

Next time, I'll leave out the weed. Weed supposedly makes everything move slowly anyway. Thank the goodness of dreams that this was not real, it must be downright agonizing to go through being touched by such a horrendous creature in real life. Ughhh the sheer thoughts send a chill down my electrodes.