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Saturday, August 1, 2009

The midget writes a poem

As an alien midget, I'm all about the experimentation: be it sexually, politically or even literary, there isn't anything I'm not willing to try (except diseases). So I could go ahead and give you an account about how I once actually left a gate and an apple on either side of this random womans bed because I thought that she looked like Christina Applegate (i hate that woman and the woman in the bed but I saw the funny even if she just saw the need to call 911) but instead I'm going to write a poem for all you awesome people out there who love reading poems.

I once upon a time
Came from the stars
Which planet am I from
Saturn, Jupiter or Mars?

I came to this place
That you call Earth
It's got a little life
But it's mostly got dirt

I decided to go
And swim in the sea
My skin started to melt
Very very slowly

So i got out
Of the god forsaken water
Went to a farm
And fucked a farmers daughter

She said "For a midget
You're quite excel-lunt"
I hated that accent
But still came in her cunt

She moaned and groaned
Till I told her to shut her damn mouth
And made her go down
Till my blue alien juice came out

Two weeks later
She was found dead
Some dude had poisoned her
And smashed her head

He also stole
Whatever she had
It was a 100 bucks
So he was quite glad

I can only laugh
And feel sweet relief
That my soon to be kid
Was killed by a thief

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